I think that last night was the first time I've ever really felt truly angry at someone in church. It could be that I mis-interpreted something that she said (which is highly possible since my Spanish isn't 100%), but I do believe it was a culmination of many things.

On Sunday, I started something called the "Academia de Obreros", which is this course that I'm taking at church. The teacher said that it's the same class that someone who wants to become a pastor would have to take first, so it is pretty useful. Everything there was great and we learned a lot, but the very last thing that the teacher said was that our salvation can be lost. I used to think that it could be lost too, before I really understood various passages in the bible that may seem like this on the surface, but after talking to a bunch of Christians last year while on a missionary trip, they lead me to believe that your salvation cannot be lost, no matter what you do. So I went home and decided to look it up on the internet and see what it had to say about salvation. I came to the conclusion that it really doesn't make sense that our salvation could be lost. So when the teacher said this, to me it just seemed like something that someone uninformed would say, as if she didn't do her research. So after the class, I decided to talk to her about it and we had a good conversation for a few minutes about it and she said that she'll look into it this week and tell me next weekend why that is what our church believes. She even said that she used to believe that salvation cannot be lost, but the head pastor convinced her otherwise. Unfortunately (or was that fortunately), I am not that easy to convince. So I decided once again that I would go home and research this subject and I came upon a really good website and another very useful one that promote the idea that once you are saved, you are always saved. When we accept Christ, we are given "eternal life". How can eternal life only last a few years? or months? or days? It is called "eternal life" because it is eternal! So anyway, I'm going to make sure that I do my research before I talk to the teacher next week so that I will have a rebuttle for the points that I can expect her to give me.

Well, in church all was fine up until the point that the pastor started saying that someone received a revelation from God about one of the pastors in the church. So the guy that received the revelation went to the pastor and told him what God revealed to him and he pastor became upset. So this pastor went to her and told her about it and she told him not to pay attention to that person. Then she went to that person and told him that if he has a problem with one of the pastors to go to her first. As soon as she said this, I just thought, who does she think she is? Who appointed her mediator between what God says and what people are allowed to do? Almost just as bad was that everyone in the congregation were yelling "Amen" to what she said. I couldn't believe it. I just got the idea that she is soooo not a humble person. She is full of pride and thinks extremely high of herself. I could be completely wrong about this, but that's just how I felt. I couldn't stop thinking about something that bahb said on his blog about how we all need to humble ourselves and instead of thinking that God has something HUGE planned for your life on that day (although He might), maybe his plan is for you to get down on your hands and knees and go and scrub the church toilet. Sure, it's a nasty job, but somebody's got to do it. Why not you? Why not me? But I'm sure if someone asked her to do it, she would just think she's too important for something like that, or that she has no time because she's too busy with other more important things. You know what? We all need to humble ourselves. We all need to step off our pedestal and serve others with an open heart, and put ourselves last instead of first. What does the bible say?
Another thing that has really been bothering me lately is the "gift of tongues". I put it in quotation marks because I believe that it is being misused in my church. It has just been starting to bother me more and more lately because they are not following scripture. In 1 Corinthians it clearly says that not everyone will receive the gift of tongues, and it is God who decides who receives it. They believe that one evidence that you have been baptized by the Spirit is that you speak in tongues. This may be true, but there are problems with how they apply it. Since not everyone will be given the gift of tongues, it is not the only deciding factor of whether someone has received the Holy Spirit. Secondly, what do they care whether I can outwardly show this evidence? And likewise, what do I care if they can show this evidence to me? I know the answer to the second question is, "I don't." The third problem with it is that speaking in tongues is supposed to be a "language", and not just gibberish similar to your native language. I have never heard anyone from my church talking in tongues in a language that sounds like Chinese, or some African throaty language with clicks and pops of the tongue. When the pastor "talked in tongues" last night, she started off every sentence with at least 5 occurrences of the syllable "ba" and ended everything with "tailla" (pronounced tie-a [I use the Spanish spelling here for a reason]). Most sentences also contain at least one occurrence of "ribishi", always in that order. Have you ever heard a language that starts every sentence with 5+ repeated syllables and ends with the same thing every time? Of course not. Which leads me to believe that she does not have the gift of tongues. Too bad, so sad.

In the gift of tongues being an evidence that you have received the Holy Spirit, this also leads me to believe that it is something you cannot control. Any drunk on the street speaks in a dialect similar to "tongues" of my church more than half the night. Is this evidence that he has received the Spirit of God? Of course not! It would only be evidence if you are completely sober and cannot control what you are saying because you are being completely controlled by the Spirit. And only you benefit from this evidence. Not anyone else. Fortunately, I do not need this evidence to show that I have received the Holy Spirit. Paul says in 1 Cor 14:5 that he wishes all people could speak in tongues. But understanding this in its context, this was written to people who did not have the complete bible, like we do today. The only evidences they had for Jesus and his salvation was what people told them. For that reason, they needed more evidence to help convince them that they have received the Holy Spirit inside of them. Why would we need this evidence now? If it will help convince someone that they have received the Spirit and God needs to show that to them, then it is up to Him to impart this gift to the person. This is like God saying, "Look, here you are in your right mind speaking absolute gibberish, filled with my Spirit. Does this convince you of your salvation?" Personally, I believe I have received the Holy Spirit and it happened the minute that I accepted Christ, whether I speak in tongues or not.

So there I was, sitting in church, listening to the pastor "speaking in tongues" and it just seemed like every time she said something was like her sticking a needle into me. 1 Corinthians clearly says that speaking in tongues to other people should not be done, unless they are being interpreted (which has rules in itself). Then she told all of the members of the serving team (i.e. other pastors, ushers, etc) to come to the front of the church and speak in tongues. This really made me angry. As if ALL of them can speak in tongues. And what does she care that they do it? They don't benefit anyone by doing it. Just let them pray normally. Sheesh. I was actually extremely close to just walking out of there. It would have been the first time I have ever walked out of church, but I was sooo close to doing it. I was just so upset. So instead I just got up and took a walk around at the back of the church to sort of calm down. It was the first time that I was truly happy that the service ended.

Well anyway, after church, I went out to eat with some people and I had a talk with this one guy before I dropped him off at his house and he said that everything that I feel, I should talk to my teacher from the Academia de Obreros about it because she's there to help me, not just in class, but if I have any problems in other areas as well. I think it's actually a good idea. I talked to my friend Daniela today and she said the same thing, well, that she thinks it's a good idea that is. I was thinking last night about how it would be possible to not go to any of the services at my church and just go to the Academia and keep in touch with my friends from there, but I am not sure how I would be able to manage that. I guess I'll just have to pray about it.