I forgot to mention something important that happened to me. Well, most nights before I go to bed, I try to dedicate some time to praying and reading the bible. I have been very confused about the whole Daniela issue and how our friendship has pretty much gone to the pooper these last few weeks. So anywho, one of the ways that God speaks to me is through his word. Often I will pray that he will lead me to the passage that will give me the answer that I am looking for, and that's exactly what happened last night. So there I was, lying on my bed praying and giving thanks to the Lord for all the blessings that he had given me for the day and I picked up my bible and for some reason I felt that God was leading me to the book of Esther. It was weird because he made me think of this stupid forward that one of my friends sent me about how people take advantage of women by pretending to offer some perfume for them to smell, but instead of being perfume it's a bottle of ETHER! Man, honestly, I love the guy who sent it to me (in a very non-homosexual way), but he really needs to think for himself sometimes. Anyway I was thinking about the effects of ether and then I see the book Esther and God tells me to read it, so I started reading it. And holey, I would be willing to bet that there is no other passage in the bible that could be more accurate to my situation than that one. It's about King Ahasuerus and how he threw a huge party for everyone and let anyone who wanted to come to have whatever they wanted for free, and they were all treated like kings. Then while the king was sitting around he was so proud of his queen (Vashti) and how beautiful she was that he summoned her and told her to come into his presence wearing her royal turban so that he could show everyone how beautiful she was, but she refused to listen to the king. So he got really mad about the situation and summoned his counselors to come to help him decide what to do. They all decided that queen Vashti would be stripped of her crown and the king would look for another queen who is more deserving than she (Esther 1).

This fits almost perfectly with my situation. There's this girl that I like that I ask her to do something for me and instead of doing this little favor for me, she decides to just do what she wants to do instead. And just like the king, I wasn't thinking of anything wrong or asking her to do anything sexual or whatever, I just wanted her to pray. Similarly, the king wasn't asking her to come and strip for him or anything, he just wanted to show everyone how beautiful his queen was. But the verse that speaks to me the most is Esther 1:19, which says "... Vashti may not come into the presence of King Ahasuerus, and let the king convey her royalty to another who is more deserving than she." Holey, after I had read this I understood the whole passage and how it applied to me. To me, this essentially says that since Daniela didn't pray and ask for God's advice for who to choose as a boyfriend that she is not worthy to be my queen.

It's funny because before I would pray, even after she had a boyfriend because when God wants something to happen and he says that that's the way it's going to be, he's not going to later change his mind and say the opposite. So God would always tell me that his word is un-changing and when he told me to come here for Daniela, he still means it. She is still the person for me, or more accurately, I am the person for her. But since I was disobedient back in December and now she is being disobedient to both God and I, the title that God had given to her has been taken away and given to someone else. There is someone else out there who is more deserving than she. So I'm not going to spend my entire life waiting for her to get her act together. God will provide me with someone just as good as her, if not better, and I will be the perfect man for her too.